Dear Society,
My story doesn’t start somewhere amazing or groundbreaking, it starts where everybody does, with their family. Raised by them or not, everyone has a past, everyone has roots; their family tree. I’ve lived in Oregon my whole life, visited a few states and seen small parts of Canada, what would someone consider my race then? Without showing my face and just from my words, I could be latino, caucasian, asian, african, indigenous american or australian. I am not just one, I am caucasian and asian, white and yellow, in other words - mixed. I am the combination of these two races, one quarter Japanese, and three quarters white with no defining background. To grow up with no close friends understanding my mix, none who respected it or even acknowledged me to have any asian descent was invalidating and the biggest challenge for trying to figure out my identity. I’ve never been to Japan - it was too expensive, I don't speak japanese - too busy trying to learn english at a young age, I eat traditional food, I appreciate Japanese arts and styles and beliefs. Just because I cannot speak the language or look like every single stereotypical asian individual, does not mean I do not have an asian background. I started making jokes about it as a desperate attempt to fit in and in doing so I put myself in a place I did not enjoy, making fun of myself in place of others just to feel better. Korean and Chinese friends said I could not make any joke about my background because it doesn’t exist. Nearly every person I’ve met does not know I am asian and choose to tell me that I am white, they try to tell me who I am to fit their box. It's caused insecurities and made me feel ashamed to be in public, others have tried to get me to admit that I’m not mixed, made jokes about squinty eyes and gnarly food, insulted my non stereotypical skin tone and the way my nose is shaped. I felt cornered, in a box of society’s creation and I had no path out of it. I have cried countless nights from the conflict between my pride for my asian background and my grandma who's passed her blood onto me, and the consistent insults, microaggressions, jokes, and invalidity from people I am forced to be around. A new problem arose when I met two specific people, both who were half white and half asian. They had more asian traits in their faces, more physically obvious characteristics of people, and they were considered mixed by people we were around. I felt even worse knowing that what separated me from being considered mixed was one measly quarter of ethnicity, it was unfair to me and almost broke my pride, but I talked to them and found that they too faced discrimination and injustices because of their mixed heritage. I wasn’t alone anymore in the teasing of society because they knew the absurdness of not being “pure blood” - this happened when I was 17. Too many years were spent not even having any way to know how to cope with the feeling of not being able to have pride in their background. I did not choose my family or how I grew up, but it's my background and I do feel proud to say that. I would never wish this kind of experience on anyone, to all the mixed asian kids out there, you’re beautiful, you’re unique, you deserve as much as any of the “pure bloods”. Society, please know that dismissing one's race because of mixed blood is still racism, think about someone you’ve met that has two or maybe more backgrounds and how that's changed what you’ve thought or said about them. They deserve acknowledgement of who they are too, it will mean a great amount in the long run, thank you for reading.
-Anonymous
Comments