Created by: Michael Garcia
As a Hispanic, fatherless, 17 year old boy with a need for more life experiences; I have a strong struggle with the transition from childhood into the start of adulthood. As well as learning how to be masculine to society's standards.
Growing up, I've had a hard time learning how to let things go and exchange them for "better" traits or things.
My room is one of my biggest examples of that struggle. Sheltering myself in times I liked when I was younger or made me feel that tingly nostalgic feeling. Music boxes on plain shelves, colorful paintings hanging on bland walls, vibrant color pencils and crayons scattered on my dull desk; all things I adored when I was younger and still do to this day. However, some people did wonder what was up with my room being that way on first glance.
"Don't you think these items are a bit creepy?"
"I thought you would have outgrown these by now."
"Shouldn't you be having things...more your age?"
As much as a shrug or a laugh can shove their comments aside; it does resonate with me deeply. Sure you could play ignorant and continue to see and keep my room the way it's been, nullifying their suggestions of change. But I am aware of the state of my room and the childish habits I still cling onto because of it. In a way, my room is a living manifestation of my childhood self; that as long as it's there, so will my childish traits and habits. The simple solution would be to cut ties with all I used to know as a child and develop new traits and habits better suited for my age. Maybe it'll teach me how to be tough and be as big and mighty as people want me to be. But that's something easier said than done, and it is certainly asking for a lot. With societal pressure about "growing up" while having internal conflicts about holding onto things I hold dear, it creates a feeling of being stuck. Entangled between the worlds of detaching childhood and a cold inevitable adulthood. Maybe it would be easier with a father figure to give me the guidance on how to overcome these obstacles. But I'm grateful for what I have now,, with a loving family and mom, they teach and help me to the best they can.
That even when I don't get stuck , I have a chance of getting out again.
Comments